A Beautiful Rest

     I was up before my roommates today. I'm the sort of person who generally doesn't get out of bed until you drag me out or lure me out with food, but I woke up at about 7:15 and just didn't feel like sleeping anymore. I slipped out of the apartment and enjoyed a brief stroll through the rather brisk October air, taking my Bible and my prayer journal with me.

Our campus has these little secret spots; little pockets of forest tucked in among the lawns and landscaping. In particular, we have a big rocky outcropping that juts over the parking lot of my apartment building. It isn't hard to climb up to the top, so I did. I settled myself back into a hidden place in the rock.

     And I was still in the presence of the Lord.

     I think that sometimes I forget how perfect it feels just to breathe in and know that God is the very breath in my lungs. I forget what it's like to be still and know that He is God. I can't speak for any of you, but I know I often get hung up on the small things--I don't want to get up early, it's chilly outside, people will think I'm weird sitting on top of a big rock at 8am--and I forget how incredibly worth it this time is. I was able to sit, removed from the distractions of people and school and Facebook and just breathe. Feel the air fill my lungs. Over the sirens that seem to be constantly wailing in the distance, I heard birds and squirrels chattering. I hadn't expected to find any of this here, in New York, so far from the forests and mountains of my lovely Colorado. For the first time in days, my heart was truly thankful for all that God has given me. For the first time in days, I wasn't plagued by anxiety or self-doubt or loneliness or any of the other roller coaster feelings I've been experiencing since I came to college. As I focused on He who Was and Is and Is to Come, I remembered to just let myself be. Rather than trying to fill any role or accomplish any task or fit into any category. Just be. Exactly as God made me. No make-up, no fancy clothes or fancy words, just me and God on a chilly October morning.

     I have to say I treasure this time. I don't get to steal these moments as often as I could (or should). I almost didn't go this morning, for fear that someone would think I was weird. I'll admit I've struggled a little feeling like I don't have friends here yet. I almost didn't go because I wasn't sure how to meet with God. I feel like I've been very disconnected from Him over the last week or so. I almost didn't go because I've been feeling a lack of purpose in my life, and the last thing I want to do is be out of bed feeling useless and unproductive. But God knew all these things. And He used my time this morning to address each of them, in His timing, in His way. And I just remember thinking how incredibly, indescribably beautiful is He who comes to meet us as we are, who presents Himself in the stillness of an autumn morning or the drops of rain that fall on a September night. My heart is eight times lighter than it was when I left the apartment this morning.

     Never let it be said that God is not good.

     Tell me about your quiet moments. Sometimes I think we choose not to make room for rest because we think it isn't productive, but remember that we need rest in order to be rejuvenated and reminded of our purpose in Him. He uses rest to heal us, and to bring us closer to His heart. As always, I am happy to pray for you. Leave me a comment, email, or Facebook note. God bless.

~Sheridan

My Response to the Oregon Shooting

     This doesn't strictly relate to beauty, but it's important. It's something God sort of put on my heart and I need to share it. I think it's important to remember that God has called us to courage, to something better than this life.

     Most of you have probably heard or read about the shooting in Oregon. I cried when I read the articles. It's frightening, knowing these things can and do happen. My prayers go with those who are with the Lord and those who are still struggling to make it. I pray they and their families will be wrapped in God's arms and that He will hold them close.
     But God also asked me something I wasn't sure I could answer. If I was in that room, if someone had pointed a gun at me and asked "are you a Christian?" would I have said yes? Would I have remembered Jesus' promise that "whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven", even if the risk was my life? Would you?
Continue to pray for these families. Continue to pray for Christians everywhere who are in danger of their lives for the message they bring. And have courage. Because even in their final hours God did not abandon them. He will not abandon us. And since He has not abandoned us, we do not need to fear for our lives, because no one can harm us unless it is in His will.

     Following is a quote from the BBC article covering the shooting.     "Stacy Boylan, the father of a woman who survived the shooting, told CNN that his daughter had described how the gunman asked his victims to state their religion before opening fire.
According to Mr Boylan, his daughter said the gunman told the Christians he killed that they were 'going to see God in just about one second'."
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-34424713

     "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

     "You give and take away; you give and take away. My heart will choose to say: 'Lord, blessed is your name!'"

~Sheridan

Defending Beauty

     I made a mistake today.
     I came home and hung out with my roommates and some friends in our room for a while—because, you know, I live there—just talking and stuff. Then they started talking about this girl who goes to the school, making comments like “she’s just not pretty” and “she tries too hard”. They scrolled through some pictures, alternately laughing and wincing at her attempts to appear “sexy” and attractive. After a while, I started to feel uncomfortable, imagining how devastated she would be if she could hear what they were saying. I felt like I needed to say something, ask them to be a little more respectful of her in the way they were acting. But I kept my mouth shut.
I shouldn’t have.
     We all need a place to speak our minds, even if what we have to say isn’t kind or friendly. But the mindset that leads us to say things like this about people is a problem. A huge problem. This kind of gossip condemnation of people without consideration of their lives and motives is a complete dismissal of them as a human and individual. This is a problem, ladies.
     Remember that day when you woke up and you just really wanted people to think you looked nice? You tried something new and maybe a little crazy with your makeup. The new dress you bought last week was a little bizarre but you’re dying to try it out. You go for it. Maybe the look isn’t the best but did you feel good? Maybe the dress didn’t “accentuate your body type” perfectly? So what?
     Whether someone looks good or not, they are a creation of God. Whether they dress in good taste or not, they are given the right to choose what to wear. Whether you think they are pretty or not, God still created them to be beautiful.
     Recognising our own God-given beauty is only half the battle we fight as women of God. It is also incredibly important for us to defend each other’s right to be beautiful. Disparaging the way someone dresses or the way someone’s body looks or the way her hair curls in the humidity, whether to their face or to someone else, is removing them from the status of an independent human formed in God’s image and subjects them to an analysis that shouldn’t ever happen because it shouldn’t even matter. So next time you hear someone behaving like this, say something. And next time you catch yourself doing it, apologise. You don’t know why she wore what she wore. You don’t know what she went through trying to satisfy herself with her appearance. You don’t know why she perhaps struggles with her weight. Stop focusing on physical attributes; these don’t even matter! 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us that “‘the Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”

     Defend the right to be beautiful. Don’t perpetuate the mindset that you dress so people can analyse your appearance. Don’t make the mistake I made today by not saying something.

~Sheridan

Singing in the Rain

It rained the other night. I didn't actually know it was raining until I walked out of my apartment on my way to class. I didn't have a jacket, and I didn't go back for one; I ran to class in the rain, barefoot, because flip-flops don't do so great in the running department. I was already wet when I made it back to my apartment at 9:00. But for some reason, I didn't mind being a little damp. In fact, I minded so little that I went back and stood outside for over half an hour, just enjoying the rain.

Not the most flattering picture by most people's standards. I'm definitely wet, hair falling in my face, you can't see in this picture but I'm not actually wearing shoes, either. But I think it's somewhat less important to notice how I look than how I felt.
I hate to use the phrase "everyone has a happy place" but it's kind of true-I think everyone has a place where they feel like they belong. And every girl has-and definitely needs-a place where she feels beautiful.
This was my place.
Yes, it's a little bit crazy. Barefoot in the rain spinning circles outside of my apartment building, I'm pretty sure most of the people who saw me thought I was nuts. But read what I posted on Facebook shortly after coming inside:

"I am a barefoot princess born of wind, fallen from the sky, forever turning my face up to God who cradles my face with every speck of water that drops from the heavens. I am the one who is most beautiful drenched in a storm-driven happiness."

So maybe this is a little overly-poetic, but the point is still: standing in the rain letting it soak into my clothes and run through my hair made me feel happy. More than happy, it made me feel beautiful. Because in that moment, I could focus completely on the beauty of God in sending the rain that night, on the smell of the earth and the cool breeze, turning my eyes up to heaven and seeing beauty--this is what made me happy. This is what made me beautiful. Because God created a place where it wouldn't matter what I looked like or what I was doing or what was going on in my life.

Where is your beautiful place? What things do you find direct your thoughts to heaven instead of dwelling on your own life? Share what's going on in your world!

~Sheridan

Who I am

         My family and I watched the movie “Courageous” the other night. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend that you do. I think it’s powerful and challenging in a lot of ways most of us don’t encounter often but desperately need. The movie focuses primarily on the main characters—all men, as they make and try to fill a commitment to be the husbands and fathers God has called them to be. You would think, then, that the movie is mostly to challenge men in the audience, but sitting there and watching brought me to a realisation: it isn’t just the men in our lives who have the responsibility to uphold this kind of commitment.
         Think of a time when you tried to do something in service to someone else, and they blow you aside, doing nothing to accept the effort you are making for them. For any of you who are or have ever been wait staff in a restaurant, you probably see this all the time. How can we expect the men of our world to offer us the respect, protection, and leadership the Bible commands them to provide if we are unwilling to accept it?
         I sat down a bit ago and wrote a letter to my dad. I felt like I needed to do it, after feeling God convict my heart so strongly about this. I mentioned how much I have struggled with becoming the person God wants me to be. I made a commitment to respect his authority and his guidance, something that won’t be easy but I still know is right. It’s a precursor to the vow I will someday make at the altar, to a man my dad believes to be right for me in addition to my own feelings. It isn’t going to be easy to uphold, but I still know it’s right.
         The Bible does not just lay out guidelines for how men should behave and live. There are instructions for us as well, instructions that we don’t always like to follow because they include submission and service to our fathers and husbands, hard work caring for a family, selfless support of the men who lead us. Children play. Boys and girls shirk responsibility and fail to understand what is expected of them. There are millions of people in this world who will be boys and girls until the day they die. For eighteen years of my life, I have thought of myself as a girl but I realise that’s not what I am anymore. God is preparing my heart and my life to turn me into the woman He created me to be. I am choosing to be more than a girl. I am a woman and someday I will devote my life to a man who is willing to be a Godly leader in my life. This has been my challenge and it has been issued more than once. Tonight, God made my heart ready to accept it.
         Will you choose to be a woman with me? Will you fill the role God has created you to fill, standing side by side with Godly men and supporting their search to honour God with their lives and hearts? We, too, will face a battle, but God will give us the strength to prevail for what is right. Instead of dreaming of a man who treats me right, I am choosing to be the woman worthy of that treatment. The change starts with us, with you. It starts in my heart and yours. Before you start wishing more men would be respectful and polite, consider what you have done to encourage these behaviours. Instead of fearing there won’t be a Godly man for her, raise her to be Godly and to inspire Godliness in others. We cannot mandate change in someone else; we have to inspire it by changing ourselves first.

As always, please share your thoughts. I would love to discuss or pray with/for you! Please pray for me as I am an official college student (as of Saturday) and am going to be facing a lot of different things. God bless!

~Sheridan

What's so Hard to Talk About?

This post may be a little hard to write. Actually, that's kind of my point in writing it. So I guess I'll just jump right in.

Sex

Sex should not be hard to talk about, nor should it be a topic of discussion lightly. Often as Christians we shy away from the barest mention of sex because it is "unclean" and "improper". As teenagers, we are very prone to talk about sex like its a game. Sex and the weather can come up in the same conversation because there is no reverence or regard for it. Neither of these is right. Sex is a gift from God. It was meant to glorify God. To avoid discussion of it is to hide from the fact that God intended for a man to be joined to his wife in every way. But casual discussion of sex ignores the holiness and purity with which this gift was bestowed.
My pastor preached today on sexuality through the book of Proverbs. There was one point he made that particularly stood out. Our society is obsessed with outward appearances. We all know that. But the impact this has on our view of sex is huge. Proverbs 30:20 says "this is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says 'I have done no wrong'". Sex becomes an appetite; a commodity. But it is a commodity of the flesh. A person is more than a body. The heart is one with the body and one with the soul. Sex outside of marriage is trying to take the body without the rest of the person. If you are not willing to take the entire person in commitment and complete unification, you cannot have the body. But our marketing, our culture, our way of life treats sex like any other product you can buy. In this way, we place the emphasis on outward appearances until it's become an unbreakable obsession. The goal of outward attractiveness is simply a method to cover up the undesirable within our hearts. We want to either be beautiful or be with someone else beautiful, hoping that beauty will be enough to cover our shame. But that's not how Jesus sees it. Jesus did not die for you because you were beautiful. He died for you to make you beautiful. And His beauty can cover your shame.
Jesus can set us free from many things, including our misdirected attitudes toward sex. When we start viewing sex as the gift it is, it is no longer a taboo or a dirty joke. When we escape this blind obsession with outward looks, we can stop sexualising ourselves and focus on what really matters. Because really, this wasn't that hard to write.


Many thanks to God and my pastor for inspiring this one (pretty much my sermon notes turned into complete sentences). Leave a comment and share what you've been hearing about in church, or what you think! I'd love to hear from you. And, as always, God bless!

~Sheridan

The Source of Lies

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
-Ephesians 6:12, NIV

Ladies, pull out the full battle gear and buckle your helmets because this one can be a little hard to deal with.

When you're walking down the hall and just know the girl in the corner is talking about you, who do you blame?
A) her
B) the girl she's talking to
C) the one who corrupted her heart to malicious gossip

When you can't find clothes that fit that your mom passes as "modest" ANYWHERE in the store, whose fault is it?
A) your mom's; she's waaay too picky
B) yours; you should really lay off the midnight snacks
C) the ideas that skimpy outfits are "in", and the one that inspired those ideas

When you look at yourself in a mirror and you just can't seem to make yourself like what you see, who is held responsible?
A) the mirror
B) you; again on laying off the midnight snacks
C) the one who whispers the lies that you're not good enough

Yes, as tempting as it is to throw the blame on someone else for our insecurities, and as easy as it sometimes can be to throw it all back on ourselves, the verse above reminds us of the truth: the girl who's gossiping about you in school is not your enemy. Satan is.
It's really been driven home to me more and more that the Devil is actively conspiring against your perception of self-worth. In other words, he does not want you to feel like a priceless and perfectly formed child of God. He wants you ensnared in the lies and insecurities. He wants you to feel trapped in shame from whatever sins you've committed. Because when you stop seeing yourself the way God created you, it is easy to distract you and drag you away from the things God has intended for your life. To the girl who struggles with her weight, he will say "you are not beautiful". To the girl who became too involved in a relationship before marriage, he will say "you cannot escape your shame". To the girl who feels like she doesn't have any friends, he will say it is because she isn't good enough. Satan does not want you to know that you're beautiful. He does not want you to know that you are loved. Your true, internal beauty points the glory directly to God and he can't stand that. Your security in who you are as a child of God allows you to selflessly and tirelessly pursue the furtherance of God's kingdom and he can't stand that either. Remember who it is you are really fighting! But also remember that you can't win this battle; God must win it for you. Satan will try to drown you in insecurity and sin, because he does not want you to realise that you are already free.

"And haleluiah; we are free to struggle.
We're not struggling to be free!
Your blood bought and makes us children.
Children drop your chains and sing!"
-Tenth Avenue North, "The Struggle"

I know sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in sin. "How can I possibly be beautiful and valuable after all the things I've done?" I ask myself. But this is forgetting that we are ALREADY forgiven and set free! He has redeemed us, and we don't have to give in to Satan's lies.

Are there ways you feel the Devil is trying to drag you down? Let me pray for you. I would love to help lift you up. Hope all of you are having a wonderful day!

~Sheridan

Internal Snapshot

         I was reminded today of something I should have known; something I knew that's been nearly forgotten for a long time. I sat down to watch a movie with my family about a woman--Sarah--who, after years of pain and abandonment, finally discovered redemption in the form of five Amish nieces and nephews looking to her as their only family. I thought it was beautiful, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried because I think tears are beautiful, too, when we shed them for things that really matter. The movie, one I haven't seen for several years, laid open my heart a little bit; we'll call it an internal snapshot.

         First, I wish I could feel love the way the people in the movie do. It's so easy to be moved by someone else finally realising how greatly they are loved, but it's just a story. How often do I feel like my family never has and never will understand? How many times have I wished I was closer to my sisters and brother than I am, but could never find the courage to open up? Eighteen and a half years I've lived with the people I call "mom" and "dad", and still I know nothing about family. And I wish I did.
         Sarah may have felt abandoned by her sister, who left to join the Amish community, but she had so many memories of her sister to look back upon that she never really thought about until she received a call telling her her sister was dead. I'm crying all over again at the thought that we--that I--rarely stop and savour moments, reliving memories of good times and bad ones until the people we care about are gone. As I'm slowly packing up and preparing for a 2,000 mile trip to college, the weight of the things I always wanted to do but never did and can't now is growing heavier every day. I never remember to live in a moment until I've moved on and it's too late.
         I'm jealous of the closeness and the faith of the Amish family. They had no secrets, no lies. They knew each other and they knew God. I spend so much time thinking and talking about love, but love begins first with God and second with family. They prayed with each other and for each other. Far too often, I wish that I could say the same.
         I'm selfishly feeling lonely and unloved. I attended a wedding today in which a beautiful young couple presented themselves before God and the church in a commitment to be one in the Lord. I've always been a writer; I could write myself a million happy endings but I encounter endless frustration trying to see where God is bringing me next. They have each other, but a part of me desperately wonders who I have. I have friends who would do anything for me and a family who loves me, I know. And I'm only eighteen--goodness knows I'm not ready to be married--but parts of me feel so much older than that. But you can't achieve that kind of closeness with friends or with family, no matter how devoted they might be. So I find myself wondering what God will have in store for me, if He will ever bring me the right person because I know a lot of amazing people. But I know in my heart I haven't found him yet.

         There you have it. I know it's kind of a mess; I'm kind of a mess. But sometimes messes can be beautiful, too. And I think the beauty or perceived beauty matters so much less than living a life of meaning. Because in the words of Point of Grace, "Take a few chances; let it all out. You won't regret it, looking back from where you have been 'cause it's not who you knew, and it's not what you did; it's how you lived." -Point of Grace, How you Lived (Turn up the Music)

I ask you to pray for me. Whether you leave me a prayer request or not, I will be praying for you. God bless.

~Sheridan

Anyone Here Speak Greek?

         I go to youth group every Tuesday night. Currently, we’re working through a series on prayer, which has really challenged me on a couple of points: one, that praying is one of the hardest things I will ever wrestle with in my walk with God; and two, I need to spend less time doubting my ability to hear God’s voice and more time learning to hear Him better. These two growing revelations led to me sitting on the couch in an empty room reading through the gospel of Mark, wherein I found the story of the woman (identified as Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus in John 12) who anoints Jesus with perfume during the Passover. When the disciples chastise her for “wasting” such a precious product, Jesus defends her, saying “‘leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.’” –Mark 14:6, ESV
         A beautiful thing. Other versions translate this as “a good deed” (NASB) and “a good work” (KJV). The original Greek word used in this verse is kalos, a word translated by Strong’s New Testament Lexicon to mean: “good, excellent in its nature and characteristics, and therefore well adapted to its ends” and “beautiful by reason of purity of heart and life, and hence praiseworthy”. This word, which is used to describe an act of absolute devotion, of giving everything to Jesus out of love and faith, is the same word that is used in 1 Timothy 6:12, which calls us to “fight the good fight of the faith”.
         Good. Kalos. Beautiful and pure. We spend all this time looking for beauty in our lives; there it is! Fight the good fight. Fight the beautiful fight. We are being actively chosen and called by God to participate in a lifestyle that is in and of itself beautiful. What other form of beauty do we need?
         So my personal challenge to myself is this: focus on living this beautiful lifestyle, instead of trying to have a beautiful reflection, something that can only be accomplished through prayer, constant involvement in God’s word, and encouragement and support from people who share my commitment. So I’m going to spend the next two-ish weeks going all the way through the gospel of Mark, one chapter a day. That’s my commitment; feel free to check in and ask how I’m doing. If you would like to make a similar two week commitment, leave a comment. I’ll be over on Facebook (see the “Contact Me” page for my Facebook link) posting my favourite verses from each day. I’d love to see yours up there as well!

~Sheridan

What's In a Relationship

I'm actually in Illinois right now, slightly sad to be apart from my lovely Colorado but much consoled by the light rain falling outside right now. My mom's parents live here in Illinois and later today are celebrating fifty years of marriage together. How incredibly special is that? Making a marriage work for half a century takes a lot of work and commitment.
My parents celebrated twenty-five years in May, so this is really a pretty special year. Being not much a relationship expert myself, I've actually been watching my parents' relationship pretty closely for the last month or so, just wondering what has made them the dependable, cooperative team capable of raising four children, running a household, working three jobs between the two of them, and spearheading an incredible outreach to the teens in our church and schools. Here's a lot of what I've noticed, not only recently but throughout most of my life.

They never do anything important alone. Simple decisions--"mom, can I go over to a friend's house Friday night?"--can be handled by whichever parent is present. But important things--"mom, my French class is going to Europe next summer, can I go?"--definitely a two-parent problem. Seriously, they are always talking to each other, agreeing on scheduling, chauffeuring, who's doing what where and when and their relationship has certainly benefited from it. Achieving some vague semblance of organisation is hard enough in my own life; I can't imaging trying to do it with allowances for five other people.

They truly know each other. My dad is leaving again soon after this trip ends so he can go to Montana for his grandmother's funeral, and my mom, while she's staying here to work and run the house, is going to be supporting him before he goes, praying for him while he's there, and waiting for him when he comes back. She knows this is going to be hard for him, and she knows him well enough to know what he needs in the middle of it. They got to know each other before they were married but they didn't let it stop there. They've been continuing to learn about each other for the past twenty-five years.

They know when and how to lighten up without lightening their wallets. Our family has never been wealthy but we make ends meet and still manage to have fun thanks to a lot of creativity on my parents part. Rather than fight over money, they discuss how to save and where, but they also know when it's worth it to spend a little. My dad just walked in with a bunch of roses for my mom, which was probably a touch expensive but it was also a sweet and heartfelt gesture that reminded her how much he loves her.

They like to be together. They take time to go on walks together and talk. They treasure the time they have together, because they know how important that time is. And they want to spend that time together, instead of being out doing "fun" things with friends.


I can't say as much about my grandparents' relationship; I see them about two times a year, compared to the two times a day I see my parents. But obviously there must be something incredibly special because the commitment it takes to make fifty years is mind-blowing. Here's to hoping that, someday, I'll be able to say the same (but not for a very long time yet).

What does it take to make a relationship like that work? If you have an idea, leave it in the comments section below. I'd love to hear from you!

~Sheridan