My family and I watched the movie “Courageous” the other night. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend that you do. I think it’s powerful and challenging in a lot of ways most of us don’t encounter often but desperately need. The movie focuses primarily on the main characters—all men, as they make and try to fill a commitment to be the husbands and fathers God has called them to be. You would think, then, that the movie is mostly to challenge men in the audience, but sitting there and watching brought me to a realisation: it isn’t just the men in our lives who have the responsibility to uphold this kind of commitment.
Think of a time when you tried to do something in service to someone else, and they blow you aside, doing nothing to accept the effort you are making for them. For any of you who are or have ever been wait staff in a restaurant, you probably see this all the time. How can we expect the men of our world to offer us the respect, protection, and leadership the Bible commands them to provide if we are unwilling to accept it?
I sat down a bit ago and wrote a letter to my dad. I felt like I needed to do it, after feeling God convict my heart so strongly about this. I mentioned how much I have struggled with becoming the person God wants me to be. I made a commitment to respect his authority and his guidance, something that won’t be easy but I still know is right. It’s a precursor to the vow I will someday make at the altar, to a man my dad believes to be right for me in addition to my own feelings. It isn’t going to be easy to uphold, but I still know it’s right.
The Bible does not just lay out guidelines for how men should behave and live. There are instructions for us as well, instructions that we don’t always like to follow because they include submission and service to our fathers and husbands, hard work caring for a family, selfless support of the men who lead us. Children play. Boys and girls shirk responsibility and fail to understand what is expected of them. There are millions of people in this world who will be boys and girls until the day they die. For eighteen years of my life, I have thought of myself as a girl but I realise that’s not what I am anymore. God is preparing my heart and my life to turn me into the woman He created me to be. I am choosing to be more than a girl. I am a woman and someday I will devote my life to a man who is willing to be a Godly leader in my life. This has been my challenge and it has been issued more than once. Tonight, God made my heart ready to accept it.
Will you choose to be a woman with me? Will you fill the role God has created you to fill, standing side by side with Godly men and supporting their search to honour God with their lives and hearts? We, too, will face a battle, but God will give us the strength to prevail for what is right. Instead of dreaming of a man who treats me right, I am choosing to be the woman worthy of that treatment. The change starts with us, with you. It starts in my heart and yours. Before you start wishing more men would be respectful and polite, consider what you have done to encourage these behaviours. Instead of fearing there won’t be a Godly man for her, raise her to be Godly and to inspire Godliness in others. We cannot mandate change in someone else; we have to inspire it by changing ourselves first.
As always, please share your thoughts. I would love to discuss or pray with/for you! Please pray for me as I am an official college student (as of Saturday) and am going to be facing a lot of different things. God bless!
~Sheridan
Showing posts with label Commitment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commitment. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Friday, June 26, 2015
What's In a Relationship
I'm actually in Illinois right now, slightly sad to be apart from my lovely Colorado but much consoled by the light rain falling outside right now. My mom's parents live here in Illinois and later today are celebrating fifty years of marriage together. How incredibly special is that? Making a marriage work for half a century takes a lot of work and commitment.
My parents celebrated twenty-five years in May, so this is really a pretty special year. Being not much a relationship expert myself, I've actually been watching my parents' relationship pretty closely for the last month or so, just wondering what has made them the dependable, cooperative team capable of raising four children, running a household, working three jobs between the two of them, and spearheading an incredible outreach to the teens in our church and schools. Here's a lot of what I've noticed, not only recently but throughout most of my life.
They never do anything important alone. Simple decisions--"mom, can I go over to a friend's house Friday night?"--can be handled by whichever parent is present. But important things--"mom, my French class is going to Europe next summer, can I go?"--definitely a two-parent problem. Seriously, they are always talking to each other, agreeing on scheduling, chauffeuring, who's doing what where and when and their relationship has certainly benefited from it. Achieving some vague semblance of organisation is hard enough in my own life; I can't imaging trying to do it with allowances for five other people.
They truly know each other. My dad is leaving again soon after this trip ends so he can go to Montana for his grandmother's funeral, and my mom, while she's staying here to work and run the house, is going to be supporting him before he goes, praying for him while he's there, and waiting for him when he comes back. She knows this is going to be hard for him, and she knows him well enough to know what he needs in the middle of it. They got to know each other before they were married but they didn't let it stop there. They've been continuing to learn about each other for the past twenty-five years.
They know when and how to lighten up without lightening their wallets. Our family has never been wealthy but we make ends meet and still manage to have fun thanks to a lot of creativity on my parents part. Rather than fight over money, they discuss how to save and where, but they also know when it's worth it to spend a little. My dad just walked in with a bunch of roses for my mom, which was probably a touch expensive but it was also a sweet and heartfelt gesture that reminded her how much he loves her.
They like to be together. They take time to go on walks together and talk. They treasure the time they have together, because they know how important that time is. And they want to spend that time together, instead of being out doing "fun" things with friends.
I can't say as much about my grandparents' relationship; I see them about two times a year, compared to the two times a day I see my parents. But obviously there must be something incredibly special because the commitment it takes to make fifty years is mind-blowing. Here's to hoping that, someday, I'll be able to say the same (but not for a very long time yet).
What does it take to make a relationship like that work? If you have an idea, leave it in the comments section below. I'd love to hear from you!
My parents celebrated twenty-five years in May, so this is really a pretty special year. Being not much a relationship expert myself, I've actually been watching my parents' relationship pretty closely for the last month or so, just wondering what has made them the dependable, cooperative team capable of raising four children, running a household, working three jobs between the two of them, and spearheading an incredible outreach to the teens in our church and schools. Here's a lot of what I've noticed, not only recently but throughout most of my life.
They never do anything important alone. Simple decisions--"mom, can I go over to a friend's house Friday night?"--can be handled by whichever parent is present. But important things--"mom, my French class is going to Europe next summer, can I go?"--definitely a two-parent problem. Seriously, they are always talking to each other, agreeing on scheduling, chauffeuring, who's doing what where and when and their relationship has certainly benefited from it. Achieving some vague semblance of organisation is hard enough in my own life; I can't imaging trying to do it with allowances for five other people.
They truly know each other. My dad is leaving again soon after this trip ends so he can go to Montana for his grandmother's funeral, and my mom, while she's staying here to work and run the house, is going to be supporting him before he goes, praying for him while he's there, and waiting for him when he comes back. She knows this is going to be hard for him, and she knows him well enough to know what he needs in the middle of it. They got to know each other before they were married but they didn't let it stop there. They've been continuing to learn about each other for the past twenty-five years.
They know when and how to lighten up without lightening their wallets. Our family has never been wealthy but we make ends meet and still manage to have fun thanks to a lot of creativity on my parents part. Rather than fight over money, they discuss how to save and where, but they also know when it's worth it to spend a little. My dad just walked in with a bunch of roses for my mom, which was probably a touch expensive but it was also a sweet and heartfelt gesture that reminded her how much he loves her.
They like to be together. They take time to go on walks together and talk. They treasure the time they have together, because they know how important that time is. And they want to spend that time together, instead of being out doing "fun" things with friends.
I can't say as much about my grandparents' relationship; I see them about two times a year, compared to the two times a day I see my parents. But obviously there must be something incredibly special because the commitment it takes to make fifty years is mind-blowing. Here's to hoping that, someday, I'll be able to say the same (but not for a very long time yet).
What does it take to make a relationship like that work? If you have an idea, leave it in the comments section below. I'd love to hear from you!
~Sheridan
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