I'll Title It--wait, someone liked my status!

     I never used to be big on social media. I didn't even have a Facebook until about six months ago. I have since discovered that what they say is true: social media really does start to take over your life. I tried to document the amount of time I spend scrolling through my Facebook feed, checking notifications, and replying to messages. but I couldn't even keep track. And I think it's a problem. I'm sure you've all heard a lot about how "social media is bad for us, it's taking us away from real meaningful relationships, people aren't interested with the real world.", etc. All true, but what I started to find is that Facebook wasn't just eating up time; it was killing my motivation to do anything else.
     When I moved here to New York, Facebook became my primary means of keeping in touch with people back home. We'd chat via Facebook messenger, share funny pictures or videos with each other, comment on each others' posts. Scrolling through my feed helped me feel like I was connected with the people and the events going on at home, something I really needed as I made a very dramatic transition.
     Or at least, something I thought I needed.
What I've actually been finding (and I'm sure my roommates can corroborate this statement) is that I'm always talking about home, talking about my friends, about what's going on, everything from my family to the weather. In fact, I've spent so much time thinking about home that I started comparing everything here to the way things are at home. "It doesn't rain like this at home." "We don't have traffic like this at home." "Why won't it snow already; it's snowing in Colorado!"
     I do want to say briefly that this is pretty normal for a person who's just moved halfway across the country. You miss what you've left and you try to understand where you are now by comparing it to what you already know. This is normal. But the more I thought about home, the more I missed home; the more I missed it, the more I wanted to feel connected to it, and my Facebook and social media time skyrocketed. I spent more time trying to stay in touch with my friends from home than I did putting in a conscious effort to make new friends here.
     How much time do you spend on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or other social media networks? Do you notice the impact this time has on you? I know I started getting frustrated with Facebook the more time I spent on, but I just kept getting on, posting, sharing, pretending to talk to people. It distracted me from my loneliness, sure, but that isn't the point. God didn't call me to pack up and move so I could spend all my time ignoring the people He'd put around me, people who I know are desperately in need of Him.
     I think sometimes we substitute a sort of "social media revival" for actual, relational evangelism. We act like posting "I believe in Jesus", "God loves you", or following the classic "type amen and share" is enough. People see it on our wall, we're standing for our faith, and we're encouraging others. Full points for effort, right?

          Wrong.

     Humans are naturally relational creatures. It is made so clear in Jesus' ministry that relationships were what mattered to him. He spent time with people. He dined with "tax collectors and sinners" (Matthew 9:11). He taught people and stayed in their homes and reached out to them. The early church saw this and they followed this example. We don't bring people the love and mercy of Christ by putting #jesuslovesyou as our Facebook status. I'm not saying these things are necessarily bad; I'm simply says that this is not the extend of the ministry to which God has called us.

     Social media is distracting us from the world that's actually physically around us. Do you want to know how many times I actually stopped to check Facebook or messenger while I was typing this post? (The answer: too many). We need to tear our focus away from these pointless distractions and realise that the real world has so much more to offer us. There are real people with real needs and real struggles living all around me; why did I feel like Facebook was my only connection to the world?
     I'm not going to tell you you should bail on Facebook and all social media entirely; I actually think it can be an incredibly useful tool for us to connect with people who may never hear the Word of God any other way. What I am going to challenge you to do is be aware of the amount of time you spend on social media, and the impact it's having on your life. Are you constantly frustrated as you scroll through pages of people posting their political opinions just to get people riled up? Maybe you need a break. Does the amount of time you spend online exceed the time spent in meaningful conversations with the people around you? Try talking to people. There's a lot more to a person than what they post online. Be careful as you allow the internet into your life, because it's scary and time consuming and often not worth the trouble we go through for it. *News Update: I've officially deleted both Facebook and messenger from my phone; it was taking up too much storage space and WAY too much time.*

     What are your thoughts on social media? Have you tried giving it up? What did you find? Always love to hear from you!

~Sheridan

What's In a Relationship

I'm actually in Illinois right now, slightly sad to be apart from my lovely Colorado but much consoled by the light rain falling outside right now. My mom's parents live here in Illinois and later today are celebrating fifty years of marriage together. How incredibly special is that? Making a marriage work for half a century takes a lot of work and commitment.
My parents celebrated twenty-five years in May, so this is really a pretty special year. Being not much a relationship expert myself, I've actually been watching my parents' relationship pretty closely for the last month or so, just wondering what has made them the dependable, cooperative team capable of raising four children, running a household, working three jobs between the two of them, and spearheading an incredible outreach to the teens in our church and schools. Here's a lot of what I've noticed, not only recently but throughout most of my life.

They never do anything important alone. Simple decisions--"mom, can I go over to a friend's house Friday night?"--can be handled by whichever parent is present. But important things--"mom, my French class is going to Europe next summer, can I go?"--definitely a two-parent problem. Seriously, they are always talking to each other, agreeing on scheduling, chauffeuring, who's doing what where and when and their relationship has certainly benefited from it. Achieving some vague semblance of organisation is hard enough in my own life; I can't imaging trying to do it with allowances for five other people.

They truly know each other. My dad is leaving again soon after this trip ends so he can go to Montana for his grandmother's funeral, and my mom, while she's staying here to work and run the house, is going to be supporting him before he goes, praying for him while he's there, and waiting for him when he comes back. She knows this is going to be hard for him, and she knows him well enough to know what he needs in the middle of it. They got to know each other before they were married but they didn't let it stop there. They've been continuing to learn about each other for the past twenty-five years.

They know when and how to lighten up without lightening their wallets. Our family has never been wealthy but we make ends meet and still manage to have fun thanks to a lot of creativity on my parents part. Rather than fight over money, they discuss how to save and where, but they also know when it's worth it to spend a little. My dad just walked in with a bunch of roses for my mom, which was probably a touch expensive but it was also a sweet and heartfelt gesture that reminded her how much he loves her.

They like to be together. They take time to go on walks together and talk. They treasure the time they have together, because they know how important that time is. And they want to spend that time together, instead of being out doing "fun" things with friends.


I can't say as much about my grandparents' relationship; I see them about two times a year, compared to the two times a day I see my parents. But obviously there must be something incredibly special because the commitment it takes to make fifty years is mind-blowing. Here's to hoping that, someday, I'll be able to say the same (but not for a very long time yet).

What does it take to make a relationship like that work? If you have an idea, leave it in the comments section below. I'd love to hear from you!

~Sheridan