This post may be a little hard to write. Actually, that's kind of my point in writing it. So I guess I'll just jump right in.
Sex
Sex should not be hard to talk about, nor should it be a topic of discussion lightly. Often as Christians we shy away from the barest mention of sex because it is "unclean" and "improper". As teenagers, we are very prone to talk about sex like its a game. Sex and the weather can come up in the same conversation because there is no reverence or regard for it. Neither of these is right. Sex is a gift from God. It was meant to glorify God. To avoid discussion of it is to hide from the fact that God intended for a man to be joined to his wife in every way. But casual discussion of sex ignores the holiness and purity with which this gift was bestowed.
My pastor preached today on sexuality through the book of Proverbs. There was one point he made that particularly stood out. Our society is obsessed with outward appearances. We all know that. But the impact this has on our view of sex is huge. Proverbs 30:20 says "this is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says 'I have done no wrong'".
Sex becomes an appetite; a commodity. But it is a commodity of the flesh. A person is more than a body. The heart is one with the body and one with the soul. Sex outside of marriage is trying to take the body without the rest of the person. If you are not willing to take the entire person in commitment and complete unification, you cannot have the body. But our marketing, our culture, our way of life treats sex like any other product you can buy. In this way, we place the emphasis on outward appearances until it's become an unbreakable obsession. The goal of outward attractiveness is simply a method to cover up the undesirable within our hearts. We want to either be beautiful or be with someone else beautiful, hoping that beauty will be enough to cover our shame. But that's not how Jesus sees it. Jesus did not die for you because you were beautiful. He died for you to make you beautiful. And His beauty can cover your shame.
Jesus can set us free from many things, including our misdirected attitudes toward sex. When we start viewing sex as the gift it is, it is no longer a taboo or a dirty joke. When we escape this blind obsession with outward looks, we can stop sexualising ourselves and focus on what really matters. Because really, this wasn't that hard to write.
Many thanks to God and my pastor for inspiring this one (pretty much my sermon notes turned into complete sentences). Leave a comment and share what you've been hearing about in church, or what you think! I'd love to hear from you. And, as always, God bless!
~Sheridan
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
-Ephesians 6:12, NIV
Ladies, pull out the full battle gear and buckle your helmets because this one can be a little hard to deal with.
When you're walking down the hall and just know the girl in the corner is talking about you, who do you blame?
A) her
B) the girl she's talking to
C) the one who corrupted her heart to malicious gossip
When you can't find clothes that fit that your mom passes as "modest" ANYWHERE in the store, whose fault is it?
A) your mom's; she's waaay too picky
B) yours; you should really lay off the midnight snacks
C) the ideas that skimpy outfits are "in", and the one that inspired those ideas
When you look at yourself in a mirror and you just can't seem to make yourself like what you see, who is held responsible?
A) the mirror
B) you; again on laying off the midnight snacks
C) the one who whispers the lies that you're not good enough
Yes, as tempting as it is to throw the blame on someone else for our insecurities, and as easy as it sometimes can be to throw it all back on ourselves, the verse above reminds us of the truth: the girl who's gossiping about you in school is not your enemy. Satan is.
It's really been driven home to me more and more that the Devil is actively conspiring against your perception of self-worth. In other words, he does not want you to feel like a priceless and perfectly formed child of God. He wants you ensnared in the lies and insecurities. He wants you to feel trapped in shame from whatever sins you've committed. Because when you stop seeing yourself the way God created you, it is easy to distract you and drag you away from the things God has intended for your life. To the girl who struggles with her weight, he will say "you are not beautiful". To the girl who became too involved in a relationship before marriage, he will say "you cannot escape your shame". To the girl who feels like she doesn't have any friends, he will say it is because she isn't good enough. Satan does not want you to know that you're beautiful. He does not want you to know that you are loved. Your true, internal beauty points the glory directly to God and he can't stand that. Your security in who you are as a child of God allows you to selflessly and tirelessly pursue the furtherance of God's kingdom and he can't stand that either. Remember who it is you are really fighting! But also remember that you can't win this battle; God must win it for you. Satan will try to drown you in insecurity and sin, because he does not want you to realise that you are already free.
"And haleluiah; we are free to struggle.
We're not struggling to be free!
Your blood bought and makes us children.
Children drop your chains and sing!"
-Tenth Avenue North, "The Struggle"
I know sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in sin. "How can I possibly be beautiful and valuable after all the things I've done?" I ask myself. But this is forgetting that we are ALREADY forgiven and set free! He has redeemed us, and we don't have to give in to Satan's lies.
Are there ways you feel the Devil is trying to drag you down? Let me pray for you. I would love to help lift you up. Hope all of you are having a wonderful day!
~Sheridan
I was reminded today of something I should have known; something I knew that's been nearly forgotten for a long time. I sat down to watch a movie with my family about a woman--Sarah--who, after years of pain and abandonment, finally discovered redemption in the form of five Amish nieces and nephews looking to her as their only family. I thought it was beautiful, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried because I think tears are beautiful, too, when we shed them for things that really matter. The movie, one I haven't seen for several years, laid open my heart a little bit; we'll call it an internal snapshot.
First, I wish I could feel love the way the people in the movie do. It's so easy to be moved by someone else finally realising how greatly they are loved, but it's just a story. How often do I feel like my family never has and never will understand? How many times have I wished I was closer to my sisters and brother than I am, but could never find the courage to open up? Eighteen and a half years I've lived with the people I call "mom" and "dad", and still I know nothing about family. And I wish I did.
Sarah may have felt abandoned by her sister, who left to join the Amish community, but she had so many memories of her sister to look back upon that she never really thought about until she received a call telling her her sister was dead. I'm crying all over again at the thought that we--that I--rarely stop and savour moments, reliving memories of good times and bad ones until the people we care about are gone. As I'm slowly packing up and preparing for a 2,000 mile trip to college, the weight of the things I always wanted to do but never did and can't now is growing heavier every day. I never remember to live in a moment until I've moved on and it's too late.
I'm jealous of the closeness and the faith of the Amish family. They had no secrets, no lies. They knew each other and they knew God. I spend so much time thinking and talking about love, but love begins first with God and second with family. They prayed with each other and for each other. Far too often, I wish that I could say the same.
I'm selfishly feeling lonely and unloved. I attended a wedding today in which a beautiful young couple presented themselves before God and the church in a commitment to be one in the Lord. I've always been a writer; I could write myself a million happy endings but I encounter endless frustration trying to see where God is bringing me next. They have each other, but a part of me desperately wonders who I have. I have friends who would do anything for me and a family who loves me, I know. And I'm only eighteen--goodness knows I'm not ready to be married--but parts of me feel so much older than that. But you can't achieve that kind of closeness with friends or with family, no matter how devoted they might be. So I find myself wondering what God will have in store for me, if He will ever bring me the right person because I know a lot of amazing people. But I know in my heart I haven't found him yet.
There you have it. I know it's kind of a mess; I'm kind of a mess. But sometimes messes can be beautiful, too. And I think the beauty or perceived beauty matters so much less than living a life of meaning. Because in the words of Point of Grace, "Take a few chances; let it all out. You won't regret it, looking back from where you have been 'cause it's not who you knew, and it's not what you did; it's how you lived." -Point of Grace, How you Lived (Turn up the Music)
I ask you to pray for me. Whether you leave me a prayer request or not, I will be praying for you. God bless.
~Sheridan
I go to youth group every Tuesday night. Currently, we’re working through a series on prayer, which has really challenged me on a couple of points: one, that praying is one of the hardest things I will ever wrestle with in my walk with God; and two, I need to spend less time doubting my ability to hear God’s voice and more time learning to hear Him better. These two growing revelations led to me sitting on the couch in an empty room reading through the gospel of Mark, wherein I found the story of the woman (identified as Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus in John 12) who anoints Jesus with perfume during the Passover. When the disciples chastise her for “wasting” such a precious product, Jesus defends her, saying “‘leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.’” –Mark 14:6, ESV
A beautiful thing. Other versions translate this as “a good deed” (NASB) and “a good work” (KJV). The original Greek word used in this verse is kalos, a word translated by Strong’s New Testament Lexicon to mean: “good, excellent in its nature and characteristics, and therefore well adapted to its ends” and “beautiful by reason of purity of heart and life, and hence praiseworthy”. This word, which is used to describe an act of absolute devotion, of giving everything to Jesus out of love and faith, is the same word that is used in 1 Timothy 6:12, which calls us to “fight the good fight of the faith”.
Good. Kalos. Beautiful and pure. We spend all this time looking for beauty in our lives; there it is! Fight the good fight. Fight the beautiful fight. We are being actively chosen and called by God to participate in a lifestyle that is in and of itself beautiful. What other form of beauty do we need?
So my personal challenge to myself is this: focus on living this beautiful lifestyle, instead of trying to have a beautiful reflection, something that can only be accomplished through prayer, constant involvement in God’s word, and encouragement and support from people who share my commitment. So I’m going to spend the next two-ish weeks going all the way through the gospel of Mark, one chapter a day. That’s my commitment; feel free to check in and ask how I’m doing. If you would like to make a similar two week commitment, leave a comment. I’ll be over on Facebook (see the “Contact Me” page for my Facebook link) posting my favourite verses from each day. I’d love to see yours up there as well!
~Sheridan
I'm actually in Illinois right now, slightly sad to be apart from my lovely Colorado but much consoled by the light rain falling outside right now. My mom's parents live here in Illinois and later today are celebrating fifty years of marriage together. How incredibly special is that? Making a marriage work for half a century takes a lot of work and commitment.
My parents celebrated twenty-five years in May, so this is really a pretty special year. Being not much a relationship expert myself, I've actually been watching my parents' relationship pretty closely for the last month or so, just wondering what has made them the dependable, cooperative team capable of raising four children, running a household, working three jobs between the two of them, and spearheading an incredible outreach to the teens in our church and schools. Here's a lot of what I've noticed, not only recently but throughout most of my life.
They never do anything important alone. Simple decisions--"mom, can I go over to a friend's house Friday night?"--can be handled by whichever parent is present. But important things--"mom, my French class is going to Europe next summer, can I go?"--definitely a two-parent problem. Seriously, they are always talking to each other, agreeing on scheduling, chauffeuring, who's doing what where and when and their relationship has certainly benefited from it. Achieving some vague semblance of organisation is hard enough in my own life; I can't imaging trying to do it with allowances for five other people.
They truly know each other. My dad is leaving again soon after this trip ends so he can go to Montana for his grandmother's funeral, and my mom, while she's staying here to work and run the house, is going to be supporting him before he goes, praying for him while he's there, and waiting for him when he comes back. She knows this is going to be hard for him, and she knows him well enough to know what he needs in the middle of it. They got to know each other before they were married but they didn't let it stop there. They've been continuing to learn about each other for the past twenty-five years.
They know when and how to lighten up without lightening their wallets. Our family has never been wealthy but we make ends meet and still manage to have fun thanks to a lot of creativity on my parents part. Rather than fight over money, they discuss how to save and where, but they also know when it's worth it to spend a little. My dad just walked in with a bunch of roses for my mom, which was probably a touch expensive but it was also a sweet and heartfelt gesture that reminded her how much he loves her.
They like to be together. They take time to go on walks together and talk. They treasure the time they have together, because they know how important that time is. And they want to spend that time together, instead of being out doing "fun" things with friends.
I can't say as much about my grandparents' relationship; I see them about two times a year, compared to the two times a day I see my parents. But obviously there must be something incredibly special because the commitment it takes to make fifty years is mind-blowing. Here's to hoping that, someday, I'll be able to say the same (but not for a very long time yet).
What does it take to make a relationship like that work? If you have an idea, leave it in the comments section below. I'd love to hear from you!
~Sheridan
Some days I really just want to scream. I want to scream and scream until I can't hear anything or think anything or feel anything because the day has been so hard. Everyone has their limit; the one thing that makes them fall to pieces. We treat it like a secret because we want people to think that we can deal with anything, but we all know it's there so I might as well be the first to open up:
Lonliness.
The one thing
I truly cannot handle
is feeling alone.
I'm sure you can all relate to some extent. No one really wants to be alone all of the time; sooner or later, we're going to need someone's help. I'm not saying I never ever want to be alone, either, because sometimes people are just too much to handle. But being alone and feeling alone are different. I think there's this huge misconception that a person can't be lonely if they're surrounded by friends but I know for a fact that sometimes the loneliest place a person can be is with other people who remind them that they are in a moment but not a part of it. Too often, I feel myself plagued by the lie that having a boyfriend means I won't be lonely anymore but I know that doesn't work either. I have a boyfriend, and he has done all he can to be there for me and connect with me when I need him but he can only do so much and too often I feel like I ask too much of him as it is. I believe God has created us (women) with a space in our hearts that only a man--the right man--can fill. Some of us are so perfectly happy to be single that they don't feel this type of loneliness, but some of us will always struggle, even after we have the right guy in our lives. I fall solidly into the second group.
Loneliness can only really be compared to a void. On nights like tonight, it feels an awful lot like I'm falling headfirst into a bottomless pit and I can't seem to drag myself out. It's something I'll struggle with my entire life. I'm reaching out tonight because I need prayer, and because I need to feel like I'm connected to someone, but mostly because I know that loneliness isn't solely my problem. I may not know you, I may not know your name or your face or your story or what you've been going through, but I want you to know that you're not alone. I never know for sure, but I always hope my words will find a way to reach someone, to help them somehow. Maybe that someone is you. I hope and pray that whoever and wherever you are, the grace of God is upon you, because His love is unfailing and He will hold you through any storm. Even on nights when all I can do is cry, I know He is holding me.
As always, I would love to pray for you. You can contact me via the comments section on this post or the Facebook and email info on my "Contact Me" page on the left side of the screen. May the Lord be with you all, no matter what you're feeling or where you are in life. God bless.
~Sheridan
The sky is rumbling and a light rain is sprinkling down through the aspen leaves. I got to spend two hours with my best friend/boyfriend this morning, I'm home all by myself listening to the rain on the roof, I have to be at work in an hour but right now I just feel peaceful. One of those moments where time ceases to matter and everything I'm worried about-college, future plans, tuition payments, moving all the way across the country and my phone being Lord only knows where-is less important than what's happening right this second. Right this second, I am completely and perfectly at peace. Right this second, I know that by the grace of God everything I'm afraid of will be worked out. Right this second, I know God is good and there's a future for mankind. Right this second, I can't even say that I feel beautiful because I feel so much that whether people think I'm beautiful or not doesn't matter. Right this second, I love life.
What are you feeling right this second? I would love to hear it. Sometimes we spend so much of our time living for the future that we forget this moment is the one we're living in. So why don't we all just jump out and live it.
~Sheridan
Just so you all know I am on Facebook now. There isn't a whole lot there right now but I'm hoping to be pretty consistent in updating that. Feel free to look me up by typing "The Beautiful Life" in the search bar, or by using the link below:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Beautiful-Life/1653276218239668?fref=ts
Learning to Live and Living Without
Weekends are always interesting in the mountains. Saturday, 2 May was my high school's prom, at which I learned two very valuable lessons: May can be just as cold as any other month, so sleeveless dresses are not always the wisest choice, and people in my generation have a tremendously skewed idea of beauty.
Alright, so I actually knew both of those. But the latter really hit hard over the course of the evening, and I really felt God compelling me to address it here. I was getting ready with a friend and heard her suddenly yell "ouch!" She'd glued her fake nail in the wrong place and pealing the glue off was apparently a rather uncomfortable experience. Ever a fount of unique and useful advice, I told her to stop because "hurting yourself is bad for you". "It takes some serious pain to be beautiful," she replied. And it made me think. How much are we sometimes willing to pay to have someone else label us "beautiful"? Is it worth it?
What really struck me as I thought about it was that an indescribable amount of pain has gone into making you who you are. If pain is the price for beauty, it has already been paid. Paid by a man who was 100% human and 100% God, who died in lonely agony to be able to call you His own, to make you in His image and make you beautiful. So all of the silly things we do, the fake nails and tanning salons, the makeup and hairspray and six-inch heels, are unnecessary pain. If God wanted you to be 5'10" and have curly hair and long nails, He would have made you that way. It's fun to dress up, of course-I wore makeup and a fancy dress and did my hair-but sometimes it's good to look at ourselves and wonder how far we're taking it. Can you feel beautiful without all those things? Because you should always know that you are. Can you live with yourself the way you are?
Speaking of May being cold, the weekend following prom was one of the strangest weekends of my life. My parents' anniversary is in May, so we intended for the weekend to be a nice relaxing weekend for them to celebrate. It was a much-deserved break, but unfortunately not as relaxing as they'd hoped it would be. Because it snowed. A lot. On Saturday, 9 May, we got almost a foot of snow up in the mountains where we live, which was certainly interesting. But it's all fun and games until the power goes out, which it did at about 7:30 Saturday night. And didn't come back.
Well, we fired up our wood-burning stove and kept the house plenty warm, and we had water still in our water tank so that wasn't too much of an issue, so my sisters and I lit up some candles and snuggled in to play some Mindtrap and wait. As we carried over into Sunday with still no power, we started to feel some side effects of the power outage. Like, not having enough water to shower or anything. We melted some snow in a skillet to wash our faces but that was about it. At which point the lesson was thoroughly impressed upon me that sometimes we just have to live without. Majorly live without. But God still gets us through and He still finds ways to remind us that there is beauty all around and within us no matter how strange or difficult the circumstances are.
Hoping it's warmed up to nice May temperatures everywhere else. Would love to hear your thoughts and/or experiences on the matter!
I was at a service at my church doing prayer stations. I sat down at a table by myself and found myself facing a small hand mirror and the question: "Look at your face in a mirror. What do you see?"
Sometimes an honest answer hurts. I had to look at my face and admit to myself that I see a girl who spends too much time telling herself she isn't good enough and not enough time remembering that God made her in His image. I see a girl who spends too much time worrying about the insignificant difficulties of life and not enough time praising God for the eternity He's promised her. A girl who spends too much time wanting someone else to tell her that she's pretty but not enough time letting God show her that she's beautiful, a girl who could find every minuscule flaw in her complexion but doesn't remember that God chooses everything for a reason. When I look in a mirror, I see a girl who's trying hard to become the woman God created her to be but she's nervous and scared because she doesn't know how.
Look at your face in a mirror. What do you see? I know it isn't easy. Sometimes I think we avoid mirrors, just because we're afraid of what we'll see. Not just afraid that the outfit we were so excited about this morning doesn't look as nice as we thought it would. Afraid that the person we see in the mirror isn't the person we're supposed to be. We have to remember that the only thing we're ever "supposed to be" is what God has created us to be, and there is nothing that can ever derail God's plans. He will make everything beautiful in its time, so we don't ever need to be afraid of what the mirror is telling us.
